


Vote Honk!

by uofmdragon



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Politics, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Goose of Soulmate Enforcement, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27928684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uofmdragon/pseuds/uofmdragon
Summary: "An Iowa town meeting with Senate Candidate Barton was visited by the Goose of Soulmate Enforcement.  Join us at 11 to find out more."
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Comments: 30
Kudos: 113
Collections: Marvel Trumps Hate 2020





	Vote Honk!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MiladyDragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiladyDragon/gifts).



> Written for MiladyDragon and MarvelTrumpsHate.

Phil watched the screen as he waited for Fury. The captions were off, but he could make out the lips of the newest person who had thrown himself into a contentious Iowa senate race. There was a wry grin on the man's face.

"Listen, I'm not going to take it personally, if you don't vote for me. I'm on good terms with the vast majority of my exes," he said. Phil's lips quirked at the subtle zinger towards the current president. 

"You don't have to vote for me, I'm just going to keep working on the policies that we all should care about around here," the man continued. "I'm running because I want to be the change in the world. I want to make sure all kids have access to necessities like food and clean water. I want to make sure they have access to a good and free education. Yes, you best believe that I want foster reform all around. I went through that system as a child when my parents died. I bounced from home to home and I saw all manner of lives there. We shouldn't be taxing the little guy, we need to tax the big guy with the deep pockets, because those pockets are water tight and there is no trickle coming down to us. I want to take care of our soldiers and give them the support that they desperately need when they return to civilian life. That's why I would like to be your next Senator Iowa."

"What do you think?" Fury's voice said.

Phil shrugged. "A lot of passion, promising." His eyes narrowed. "Why?"

"Got my eye on him," Fury stated. "He wins this. Well, we'll see… I don't have anything for you, Phil."

Phil nodded, unsurprised. He should have jumped shipped earlier when Fury was hiring. The other man had tried to sway him away, but he hadn't wanted to give up just yet. "Thanks for…"

Fury's hand came up. "I did make a few calls."

"You did?" Phil asked, because he'd shown up with no notice.

Fury nodded. "I've had feelers out. I've got someone that knows ASL, preferably someone that could get military clearance."

"Who would need an interpreter for that?" Phil asked, surprised.

"You've got an appointment with them on Monday." He offered Phil a card, which he took. Glancing down, he frowned at the name 'Natasha Romanov’. "Russian?"

"She's a campaign manager. Impress her and you'll get the job."

Phil nodded. "Who's the candidate?" 

"Newcomer out of Iowa." Fury said, glancing at the TV.

Phil glanced back to see the man standing and nodding at the crowd. A banner waved in the background that read 'Barton for Senate'.

*

"How'd I do?" Clint asked, looking at Natasha.

"Good," Natasha said. "You're an orphaned vet. Only black spot is having a child outside of soulmates."

"And that I have a hearing loss," Clint pointed out. "Where are we on finding someone that knows ASL? If I have to debate, I'm going to need that."

"Fury recommended someone, I'll be interviewing him later," Natasha stated.

"Fury? Of Fury Consulting?"

Natasha nodded. "Apparently, you caught someone's eye in the party."

"His wife is Maria Hill. I thought I did alright when Tony introduced us," Clint said.

"Well, it helps, having Stark in our corner," Natasha said. 

Clint nodded. His life was certainly different. He'd gone from orphan to joining the military, leaving the military, because of his hearing, and ended up trialing some of Stark's new hearing aids, because he happened to have made a good impression when he met Rhodey at a function. Somehow, he'd ended up running for Senate and well, that wasn't what he ever really saw himself doing, but someone had suggested it and after thought and conversations with those that knew him best. He'd agreed and found enough people that believed in him to put together a decent campaign. Well, he hoped it would be decent.

*

Phil decided, as he stepped out of the room where he'd had the hardest and most rigorous interviews for an interpreter ever, that Natasha Romanov was a devil in disguise. She'd had him interpreting multiple speakers with slang and idioms sprinkled across that were hard to sign on the fly and he'd done his best. He never thought he'd be grateful for growing up with a sister and father that were deaf, but here he was.

"Mr. Coulson," Romanov's deceptively soft voice said from behind him.

Phil turned to look.

"We've decided to give you a trial run," Romanov said.

"That was quick," Phil said.

Romanov shrugged, a slight lift of the shoulders. "I can be easily persuaded for a trial, keeping you, well, that's another matter. You'll be paid an appropriate rate of course."

Phil nodded. "I would hope so."

"It's a town hall event. You'll do Clint's speech and then the audience questions as well," Natasha stated.

"As well as his answers?"

"Yes," Natasha said with a smile. "It's next week in Ames at 6 pm. I'll expect you there by 5."

Phil nodded and watched as stepped back in. Good lord, his fingers were going to get a workout.

*

Phil blinked as he came face to face with someone from his past. He smiled. "Melinda."

"Phil, you're late," Melinda said.

"I'm not…" Phil started to object, but she was correct. It was two minutes past five.

Melinda gave him a smug smile. "I was glad to see your name popped up. I have to admit, I didn't think you were doing interpreting or else I would have called you sooner."

"Yeah, well, it's a job," Phil admitted.

Melinda nodded, handing him a packet. "It's his speech, thought you might want to look it over."

"Thank you," Phil said, taking it and doing just that as he trailed behind her. Grammar in ASL was different than in spoken. This would give him an idea of how to adapt it and make it a bit more fluent. The questions and answer was a different beast though. Melinda showed him where he could set up and then took him to where he would be on stage. The positioning was a bit odd. He was to one side as was usual, but was directed to face both stage and audience. 

Phil nodded, letting it go as he reviewed the speech. He'd make suggestions if they hired him for the full campaign. 

*

Kate had never considered really getting involved in a senate race, but then she hadn't expected her archery coach to sit and listen to her concerns and then join her at protests. She hadn't expected him to then decide to throw his hat in the ring of his home state of Iowa. So, here she was, in the audience of his first town hall. 

When Clint wrapped up his speech, she got up and moved to one of the lines to ask a question. It was probably going to be a bit of a softball, but it was an issue he wanted to make sure came up. She'd slide out of the line, if it looked like enough of the actual town members were going to ask questions.

She came up to the line and paused to see a goose in the line, looking like it was going to ask a question. Kate blinked and then blinked again, sure enough there was a goose. She pulled out her phone and texted America. _There is a goose here, right? I'm not seeing things._

_Only in Iowa, but you haven't gone crazy… yet?_

"Um, sir, is this your goose?" Kate said, asking the person in front of the goose.

The man turned, glanced down at the goose and shook his head, but overall didn't seem bothered by a goose. Kate vowed to get some money for this, granted she was a volunteer, but seriously… What the fuck?!

Kate listened to the questions, mentally adapting her own question based on what was asked and what Clint wanted to address.

"Yes, you said before, you're impulsive. How do we know that isn't just another impulsive act by an immature boy?" an elderly woman asked.

Clint blinked, but nodded. "I am impulsive and I make rash decisions when it only concerns me. When I do something that concerns my friends and my family, I'm much more thoughtful. There's a big difference between me seeing if I can still do a backflip after a couple of beers versus me running for senate and putting my whole life on display. Backflip, yeah, let's try. Senate, let's think about that first. If elected, I know my decisions will affect all of you back home and they're not going to be easy ones to make. Choosing to run was not an easy decision, but I'm tired of billionaires and trillionaires running this country, because while I know Stark, I know not everyone is like him. He pays his employees a living wage, has maternity leave for both parents, and his healthcare plan. Man, I wish I had that! I want to give you access to healthcare like that. Make sure that the single parents have a little extra to set aside."

The elderly lady nodded and stepped aside.

"I was going to ask something else, but now I want to know is, you can still do a backflip?" the man in front of the goose asked. Kate squinted at the back of his head. "And if you can, will you do one now?"

Clint grinned and laughed. He looked off stage. "Tasha? How bad will that hurt my chances?"

"It'll only hurt your chances if you fail, Barton," Tasha's voice said.

Kate smirked as she saw Clint stand up. "So if I do this, you all better vote for me!"

There were cheers and Kate whistled. 

Clint pulled off coat and tie and then unbuttoned his shirt. He glanced at the edge of the stage and waved people back. Then turned his back to the crowd and backflipped off of it, landing nicely. His arms went up as the cheers swelled. Kate couldn't see it, but she could picture the grin on his face. 

The young man stepped out of the line and the goose waddled forward. It seemed content to wait its turn until the questions came back around and then announced itself with a mighty _Honk!_.

Clint looked befuddled and his hand came up to his earpiece. He muttered something and then the goose took flight, driving toward Clint's interpreter and causing him to back up and away from it. It circled, diving again and honking. The goose seemed intent on harrying the poor man as chaos erupted.

*

Phil really wasn't thinking about much, beyond avoiding the goose that kept attacking him. He'd fly at him, land, hiss, and bob its head threateningly. He kept backing away, keeping it in his sights as he avoided it. 

It charged again and Phil backed up until he hit something warm and solid. A quick glance showed, it was Barton. The goose had herded him around the stage until he was center with the candidate. 

The goose charged again and Phil stepped back, and they toppled backward with Phil landing in Clint's lap as he fell back into the chair. The goose settled and demonic black eyes watched them. Phil tried to get up and it hissed until Phil went back down.

"It's the goose of soulmate enforcement," someone said. They must have grabbed a microphone in the audience and well, that had heads swinging. 

Phil glanced back at Barton to see him staring at the goose. Handsome, Phil decided. Smart, ambitious, and genuinely caring. 

"You have to kiss to get the goose to back off," the woman said again.

Phil blinked and then felt a quick press of lips against his that were gone, before Phil even fully realized that they were there. He glanced at the goose to see it visibly deflate. Phil got up slowly and took a step away so Barton could get up as well. 

"Right, I think we're done for the day," Barton said, he grabbed Phil's hand and gently tugged until Phil followed him off stage.

Once they were backstage, Clint was surrounded by people, coming and removing the microphone package. 

"Job is yours by the way," Natasha said, appearing at his shoulder.

"It is?" Phil asked.

"You're his soulmate," Natasha replied.

"So I should work for free?" Phil asked.

Natasha smiled. "If you want to change your position to volunteer, you're more than welcome to do so."

"I'd rather be paid."

"And you will, according to the agreed upon contract."

Barton turned toward them and Natasha extended her hand, holding a case. He took the case, handing Natasha something. Phil blinked as Barton looped behind the ear hearing aids over both ears. "He's good." was said to Natasha with a slight inclination. 

"I figured we're keeping him," Natasha stated.

Clint nodded and opened his mouth to speak.

"I don't know," Natasha cut him off. "And frankly I wouldn't look at historical trends, because we're having firsts at every election. We were already going to have broken the mold with you having a severe hearing loss. Might as well as go for first same sex soulmate."

Barton sighed.

"Listen," Natasha said. "You have an excuse to get out of the spotlight and let us do some work. Iowa was the third state to allow same sex marraiges."

"By a court decision," Barton pointed out.

"Still, let the team we built take care of things. You go to the farm, get to know Phil. I'll call Barney and let him know you're coming."

Barton took a deep breath, before nodding. "Yeah, yeah, let's do this."

Phil arched an eyebrow, but Barton was already looking at him. 

"My brother owns a place, like an hour away. It's private, we can lay low, and get to know each other better. Please?"

Phil smiled. "I can drive. My car is out back and packed with my stuff."

Clint nodded. He glanced at Natasha. "You'll bring mine out, right?"

Natasha nodded. "Change first. You'll be more comfortable."

Clint nodded, casting a glance at Phil, before heading down the hallway. Phil watched him go, before glancing at Natasha.

"He has a hearing loss?"

Natasha nodded. "We've been keeping it quiet until we could find a good interpreter. He's new and not popular enough that Monroe's camp is digging, but I think our timetable just moved up."

Phil arched an eyebrow.

"That goose just put Clint on the national news," Natasha stated. "He's going to become a threat to Monroe."

"When you mention that we took some time to get to know one another, you might mention that we worked on getting me up to speed on the issues, so I would be better ready to interpret his speeches and the audiences' questions to him."

Natasha smiled. "A subtle way of getting the hearing loss out."

"I'm also assuming my contract may extend beyond the campaign?"

"It's why we needed someone with a high security clearance."

Phil nodded. Movement caught his eye and Clint was making his way over to him. "Ready?"

"Yeah," Clint said.

"No bag?"

"I've got stuff at my brother's."

"Alright," Phil said.

"Hey, Barton," a female voice said. "Get a picture while you're getting to know one another! I need it for sosh meed!"

"Will do, Darce," Barton yelled back.

"Try not to hurt yourself, you're an old man," a young man with dyed white hair said. The woman standing next to him, smacked his arm.

"Don't you have a job, you need to be doing," Barton said.

"I'm doing it," the man said, holding up his phone. His thumbs flying over the screen. He paused. "Coulson. What's the first name?"

"Phil."

The man nodded. 

"And you are?" Phil asked.

"Pietro," he pointed at the woman at his side. "Wanda. We're part of the communications team."

Phil nodded. "It's nice to meet you."

"C'mon," Barton said, tugging Phil's arm. "Pietro is a brat, but he's quick on his feet and has good instincts." Barton made his way through the back toward the main doors, where an African-American man was waiting. "Mac, how's it look?"

"Quiet, good thing we did this here, no one was paying much attention," Mac stated. "Only I problem I see is the goose."

"The goose?" Phil questioned.

"It's sitting on your car," Mac stated.

Phil frowned, glancing at Clint. 

"Let's see if it will move?" Barton suggested.

Phil nodded, stepping outside and leading Barton to his car. The goose stood as they approached and hopped off, going around to the driver side backseat door and giving Phil an expectant look. Well, at least that was how Phil interpreted it. Phil unlocked the doors and Clint was able to climb into the front passenger seat. The moment that Phil touched the driver's door handle, he was hissed at. Phil took a deep breath and took a step toward the backseat door and the goose backed off. He opened the door and the goose climbed in, settling down in the middle of the seat.

Phil climbed into the car and looked at Clint. "I think we've acquired a goose."

"Apparently," Clint said, holding up his phone. "Lean in."

Phil did so as Clint positioned his phone in selfie mode, so that both of them were in the picture with the goose clearly in the background. Phil smiled and Clint took the picture. 

*

"Turn here," Clint instructed as Phil slowed the car. One hour to get to know a man wasn't near enough time, but what else could he do. They'd talked about their families and Clint realized that he was going to have to meet the Coulson family, which was scattered around Lake Michigan. They'd talked about their histories. They both had a military background. Phil with the army and Clint with the marines. Phil left when decided that he couldn't handle Don't Ask, Don't Tell anymore. Clint left when he was injured, losing his hearing in the process. That had moved onto relationships, because Clint had been married before and he had a son. 

Phil nodded at that and stated he knew because he'd done his research. 

Barney was on the porch as they pulled up.

"Smaller than I thought," Phil stated. "Considering your staff."

"I've got a good donor," Clint said, opening the door.

"Honk!" came from the backseat and Phil was surprised to see Clint opening the door for the goose.

"There's a pond round back," Clint said to the goose.

"Honk!" the goose said.

"Well, is this him? The man that thinks he's my brother's soulmate?!" Barney said, coming down the steps. 

"Phil meet Barney, my no good brother," Clint said.

Barney barked a laugh, but Phil was already moving to shake his hand.

"I haven't heard much about you," Phil said to him. "Clint said that you married up and had great kids."

Barney snorted. "Sounds about right." He glanced to one side. "You kept the goose?"

"It insisted on coming with," Phil said with a shrug.

"C'mon in," Barney said. "Kids are waiting for you."

"How much did you tell them?" Clint asked.

"Killed our router and confiscated all phones when the text came in that you wanted a blackout until you got here. We've been playing Clue."

"Ready?" Clint asked.

"As I'll ever be," Phil said, looking a bit nervous. 

Clint guided him in. Barney's eldest two and Francis were seated around the table with Laura, who had CJ in her in her lap. "Hey."

Francis glanced up. "Dad!" He shot up from the table and went for a hug. "Hey kiddo. What happened? Why the blackout?"

"Sit," Clint said, pushing him toward the table. The game was set aside as they had noticed Phil coming behind Barney. "So, had my first talk with audience questions."

"Did you mess it up?" Francis asked.

"No," Clint said, glancing at Phil. "Did I?"

"I thought you did well, all things considered," Phil answered.

"Right, remember when I said, I've gotten to the age where it's unlikely that I'd meet my soulmate?"

"How did you two discover this?" Laura said, glancing toward Phil.

"Goose of Soulmate Enforcement," Phil answered.

"Oh no," Laura said, looking between them. "Those are… showy."

"It made a nice big scene," Clint said.

"It attacked me," Phil stated.

"You?" Francis asked. "You're my dad's soulmate."

Phil nodded. "Hi, I'm Phil Coulson, I'm apparently Clint's soulmate. You can call me Phil?"

Francis glanced toward Clint, who shrugged. "Phil is a good start, since the relationships are new. You can always change things if you want later." 

"What about us?" Cooper asked. 

"Uncle Phil?" Clint suggested. "Even if it's platonic, he's going to be around."

Cooper nodded. "Can we go back to our game?"

"Yes?" Clint said.

"C'mon, how about you two head out back and continue your talk," Barney said, encouragingly.

Clint led Phil out back where the goose was now swimming in the pond. "Sorry, I thought that would be a bigger deal."

"Oh, I think your kid is processing it and it doesn't matter so much to Barney's," Phil said, taking a seat on the swing.

Clint took a seat next to him. "I just... I honestly thought I didn't have to worry about this happening."

"I'd given up, too," Phil admitted. "I know, it won't be easy considering that you're campaigning, but I do want to get to know you better."

"Same," Clint said, looking at Phil with an easy smile. 

*

Phil took a deep breath. He hated interviews where he was one of the interviewees. Clint was definitely far better suited to this life. Warm fingers wrapped around his and he glanced over to see Clint, looking at him out of the corner of his eye.

"You'll be fine," Clint murmured. "You're with me."

Phil rolled his eyes, earning a chuckle from his soulmate. 

"C'mon, we started with Trish."

"I know," Phil murmured as Trish introduced them.

Clint nudged the goose with his foot and it led them out with a honk. Phil gave a little wave as Trish gestured for them to sit on the couch. They sat with the goose hopping up on the little table.

"So, Senator-elect Barton, last time you were here, you and Mr. Coulson had basically just met thanks to your feathered friend," Trish said, gesturing toward the goose. "How is everything now?"

"I would say it's good," Clint said, looking at Phil. Phil nodded. "Goose was named my niece by the way."

"It was?" Trish asked. "What's the name."

"His full name is Sir Reginald Beakington." He looked toward the audience and camera at the laughter. "She's eight!" He looked back at Trish. "He's Reg or Reggie now."

The goose honked and bobbed its head up and down.

"And he knows his name."

"And you and Mr. Coulson?" Trish asked.

"It's definitely romantic," Phil said, earning a big grin from Clint.

"Which is great, because I get to work with my spouse, I think he can get a higher clearance than me," Clint added.

Trish laughed. 

"Nah, but he'll be there as an interpreter for when I need him."

"I'll also be working for some other senators as I know more than just English and ASL," Phil added.

"He's multilingual. Never thought I'd get paired off with someone so smart," Clint said, looking at Phil. He could almost see the hearts in his eyes. He ducked his head, knowing that he was blushing.

"Have you met the Coulson family?"

"He has, it went…" Phil trailed off searching for a word.

"Horribly," Clint supplied. "His cousins decided to dunk me in the pool when I was wearing my aids." Clint tapped his ears. "Everyone was out by the pool, so we went there to meet everyone. I hadn't had a chance to change or take the aids out and these aren't waterproof. So, I basically talked to Phil's sister's family the whole time."

"And my mother," Phil added.

Clint nodded. "That's true. I ended up smacking a couple of them when I was signing though."

"You did," Phil agreed with a smile. "You know what surprised me the most about that day?"

"What?"

"You took two of my cousin's down with you. The third went in, because of Reggie and he kept them in the pool when you got out. They'd have to have one distract, so the others could get out." Phil looked at Trish. "Then he kept pushing them in whenever they got close. He's protective!"

Reggie honked again.

"Yeah, he's also hooked up some of my constituents."

"And your employees," Phil added.

"Wait, what?" Trish asked.

"Two of my media people, Daisy and Robbie are soulmates according to Reggie," Clint said. "He did that two weeks after us."

Phil nodded. "And at a couple of the townhall meetings, he went into the audience to find people and bring them together."

"Really?" Trish asked.

"We basically need to check with Reggie to see if we're okay to start," Clint said. "He gets to go across the stage. If he makes it, we're clear, if he takes flight, we have to do some matchmaking first."

"I'm kind of worried about your first day in the Senate."

"You think he's going to matchmake some Senators?"

"If not them, their staff. He's already done it with Senator Rogers' staff member and mine."

"Oh, yeah, Bucky and Nat," Clint said with a shake of his head. "At least he was somewhat subtle about it."

"I'm sorry, I have to ask, because I have seen the videos, but how was he subtle?"

"I was at a meeting for the Senators-elects. Natasha was there with me as she's going to run my office. Reggie came up to her and like grabbed her fingers in his beak," Clint said, mimicking it with his hands. "It took a moment, but she started following it and it led her to Bucky. Reg went up to Bucky and it honked at him and then looked at Natasha, nodded, and walked away."

"And then?"

"Natasha sidled over to him while he was staring at Reg," Phil said, picking up the story. "Apparently, he'd missed the memo about the soulmate goose. They started talking and eventually…"

" _eventually_ " Clint reiterated with extra emphasis.

"She told Bucky what that interaction was all about."

Clint held up three fingers. "Took her three dates."

"Really?" Trish asked.

Clint nodded. "Natasha will not be rushed by any force on this earth."

The rest of the interview continued with Clint speaking about his hopes. He shared a few anecdotes about his family and friends. The interview came to an end and they headed out.

They climbed into their town car, nodding at Robbie.

"How much do you think Natasha is going to kill us for using her Reggie story?" Clint asked.

"She'll probably let it slide. She doesn't want to be tried for treason, Mr. Senator Elect," Phil said.

Clint hummed, but didn't say anything. Phil glanced over to see him staring out the window as they passed 1600 Pennsylvania. He hooked his chin over Clint's shoulder. "Next goal?"

"I got five years to make that call," Clint said. "Or nine or thirteen…"

Phil smiled. "I've got your back, no matter what you choose."

"Thanks," Clint said, leaning back into Phil. He head turned and sought out Phil's lips. They kissed slowly as they traveled under the streetlights of Washington DC.


End file.
